Anguish at Avis

France seems like such a laissez-faire place.  Cell phones in cars, high fat foods, topless beaches,  smoking young, breakfast beer, presidential lovers, -- and yet:

THERE ARE LIMITS! 

We’ve found two.

ONE:  You will NOT NOT NOT steal a Video Rental:

Due to the fact that our millennium mini-maison has lost its satellite,  we trudged out to find a video store.  ( I mean,  Little House on the Prairie was not that good in English -- imagine it dubbed in French!  Exactly. Though Scooby Doo is still pretty good.)

We find “Futur Video,” and pick out some kids’ videos.   Checking out, the young French dude asks if we have a membership.  A membership???  We’re tourists.  A membership?!

Me: “How much does a membership cost?”

 --- “Oh, it’s free.” 

 “Great, we’ll take one.”

 -- “Okay.  I’ll just need an identity card and a copy of your mortgage or rental agreement.”

I start laughing.  “C’est vrai?? Nous sommes tourists! “ and continue to explain that we have rented a house on #4 Raspail (not hard to find, given that it is one of the few houses that faces the world-renowned Arles Coliseum). 

-- “Okay, then.  No problem.  Can I see the papers?”

I continue to explain that, between Ulys and I, we have “beaucoup” credit cards, passports and driver’s licenses but that, no, we did not bring any of our utility bills etc with us.

He is most perplexed.  There are rules.  (Yes, as I am sure you are also  wondering, how do we know which ones must be followed???)

So he settles on an illegal arrangement (why this is okay escapes me):  we give him a deposit of 20 Euros  ($30),  which he will refund, though, being illegal, cannot be guaranteed with a receipt.

I assure him,  “You don't have to worry.  We really really don’t want to steal Madagascar 1 or 2.  I assure you!.  Maybe some of your other videos, but not these.”  He looks mildly embarrassed, but the $30 “deposit” stands.

On walking out with Steve Martin’s second Pink Panther movie and an irretrievably damaged copy of Madagascar 1, I turn to Ulys,

“Did we just get tricked out of $30?”

He:  “I’m not sure.  But we’ve got these videos.”

Me:  “So we might have just paid $30 for two ancient used videos that won’t even work on our US DVD player?”

He shrugs.

And yet, today, it was all good. Same guy.   Movie replacement  . . no problem . . .

And so we have discovered that both of Steve Martin’s “Pink Panther” movies are HILARIOUS -- as long as you are watching with Zahra and Tai.

TWO:  You will use embossed credit cards!

Ulys was loving the ease of Internet, and reserved a car for us in Arles (thus the windy beach, amazing aqueduct and magical town of Aigues Mortes).  Using his credit card even provided driver’s insurance at no extra cost!

We arrive in town and Ulysses skips happily, singing to himself, into the rental agency (no, not really, but isn’t it a delicious image?), presents his credit card, and then . . . . dramatic drum roll:

“I am zorry we cannot axcept zis card”

Ulys:  “Oh do you not accept credit cards?”

“Yes, we do axczept zem.”

Ulys:  “But I’ve been using this card all over town. And there’s been no problem.”

“Ah, oui, but WE do not axcept zes cards.”

Ulys:  “Are your sure?”

The car lady sighs heavily, closes her eyes and lets her head fall back. Silent prayer for patience.  Head lowers,  eyes reopen, “I am zure.  One undred an feefty percent.”

Silence.

Ulys:  “But I could use this card to pay online.”

“Yes, zat is true.  Ewe deed not pre-pay online?”

Ulys:  “No I didn't.  But can I go do that now?”

“Yez, but why wood ewe?  Ewe are already hewre.”

Ulys: “Could I use your computer.”

“Oh, no.   Zis computare? Eat will not work.”

Ulys:  “Can I pay cash?”

“Mais No!  Zat is completely interdit.”  (forbidden)

Impasse.

Ulys rifles around and finds a debit card, then asks doubtfully,  “Do you accept this one?”

She looks at it, and answers cheerfully, “Yez,  ziz one iz fine!”

More puzzled than usual, Ulys asks:  “What is the difference?”

“Zur, zee numbourse on zat udder card are not raised up and we  

cannot axcept ze cards with ze flat numbourse.”

At which point, she typed the numbers into the computer -- never even touching the card!!!

It all worked out, but no free insurance.

Inspired by Tai, We've been Painting! See his Banana series (the bunch with the apricots, and the single aging one), Zahra's Cloister, and my Stereotypical Local House

Marché Provençal -- Yesterday

We’ve been waiting for the Wednesday market and today’s Wednesday.  Even got up early and delayed beach plans.  And off we went -- looking very much like eager tourists, cash in pocket, camera battery fully charged -- and then . . . I took a few photos just to share. So you can see for yourself -- yeah . . . we were surprised as well. All the big mamas in conservative garb were out, buying thongs at 2 for 3 Euros.  That was interesting.  And I am almost out of embroidery thread.  And we’ve been saying we need a new mattress . . .

We saw a cemetery across the street and strode purposefully in so as not to look like we came to this part of town by accident.  Which, bien sur,  is exactly what we seem to have done.

I did learn something though:  if you have a family plot and want to appear attentive to your ancestors,  ceramic bouquets! 

As for the rest, I’m a tourist.  There are special areas for me.  I should stick to them.

Ancient City Wall. Interesting. BUT LOOK AT THESE ANTS!!!

TAI TAKING A STAND!

Today Tai is taking a Day Off!
He left the house ONLY to go to the Video Store.
Crossed fingers that he'll join us for dinner tonight.

I told Z that I had found the feeding grounds of the elusive Touristica Humanis. She was so MAD when I wouln't describe the species to her!!

Flamingos -- Finally!!!

Arles is on the north edge of an enormous (thousands of acres) marsh -- in which herds of black bulls and white Camargue horses run free -- along with flocks of flamingos.  I’ve never seen a flamingo -- except for the ones I put in very x rated positions in my neighbor’s yard-- for years.  Lots of years.  Until he moved.

So secretly, when I didn’t need to pretend to not care about being cool, but of course caring, knowing that that not caring is the essence of coolness . . What?  Secretly, ahem, I really really really wanted to see some flocks of flamingos.  And today I did! 

We saw some on the marshy coast, then went to a wildlife preserve ( 10 acres on the edge of 1000s of acres of wilderness).  The preserve had paths --- and bathrooms.  So we paid.  Went in.  And it was actually WORTH IT!  I’ve never been within 5 feet of a flamingo before.  I know that for sure, because, as mentioned above, I’ve never actually seen a non-plastic flamingo before.  They are much paler than I would have guessed -- almost white.  But, when they spread their considerable wings, they reveal a variety of pinks, bordered with blacks that are tres Moulin rouge!  Gorgeous.    There were also blue herons and . . , and many other . . . pretty little birdies.

La Place (The Beach) Ste. Marie de la Mer

If you were considering enviousness, don’t.   We were thoroughly derma braised and too hot and the water was icy.  Basically sucked.  Zahra the Eskimo bobbed in the waves, and Tai built, dug and who-knows-what in the sand.  Ulys endured.   I said a few choice words,  and headed for a bar to work through one of my many Frenchy grammar books.  And that was better.

Becoming Blaisee (accent)

Oh look!  Isn’t that beautiful, interesting, unique, entertaining, charming, shocking . . . Yes, but,  I can’t take another photo -- I mean, reaching my hand waaaaayyyyyy down into my purse and pulling out the camera?  And then - turning it on?  Ugh.  Roll of eyes, of neck, pause, sigh.   It’s just too too much.

No Milkshakes with Your Meat!

First meal in Arles at the obligatory “cute little place with the frenchest French people” (read in a simpering tone):

  Zahra orders steak, which she likes well-done, and it comes “blue"  -- i.e. ceremonially cooked.   When I ask to have the steak cooked a little bit more, the proprietor replies (in French):  “No,  you cannot eat it that way.  This is the meat of the bull -- the bull, he fights a lot and is very very tough.  Big muscles.  If we cook it more, it will not be good.  I am sorry, it cannot be done.  It would be toooo . . . terrible.”

Musee d'Orsay (it used to be a train station -- now a museum)

It’s Safe to Come to Paris Now!

 Changes that have occurred since I studied here -- err - not recently:  

Friendliness:  Should I write FRIENDLINESS!!!?   And cheerful attempts to speak English!!!  And yes, I checked several times and we were definitely in Paris.  Paris, France.

Eating:  SUSHI!  Lots of choices -- including delivery.  

Smoking:  Still happening.  But there are many places where it is forbidden!  And some people even respect the new law! 

Shopping:  There are 8 weeks of obligatory sales for ALL retail shops every year.  4 in January.  4 starting last week.  (I don’t know if this is new -- I was unable to shop when last here.) 

Eco-Transport:  There are rent-a-bikes parked all over the city.  Cost? 1 Euro.  There are plans to add electric cars within the next few years.  Cost?  1 Euro! 

Museums:  

One: buy a museum/transport pass before you come.  It allows you use of all public transport and reserved access to most museums.  I went to the Musee d’Orsay  (loads of work by the Impressionists, Naturalists and others).  I almost gave up as there was a 3 hour line to get in.  Then I saw the Reserved Access entrance.  No line! 

Two:  RODIN MUSEUM.  RODIN MUSEUM.  RODIN MUSEUM. 

Overall:  Everybody’s so much younger than before -- some of the youth even have gray hair!  And the cops and soldiers are HOT!  Or will be, as soon as they reach adulthood.

Just Keep Walking

Crossing the Pont de Neuf (famous Parisian bridge), an American woman stopped me,  “Do you speak English?”

- Hiding behind sunglasses, I nodded.

She continued,  “Well, I’m waiting in Paris for some English people, some very intelligent English people, to come and meet me because I’m going to be a free agent, you see.  So I’ll be fine.  But I just need some money to hold me over. Could you give me some?”

- Still hiding, I answered in a faux French accent,  “I am zorry zat I cannaught hewp ewe.”

To my retreating back she yelled, “So you AREN’T going to be supportive?!”

Southern France -- Arles!

Ok kiddos -- small problem re: communication now.  The 1000 year old house we're staying in is having some internet problems.  No wonder the Romans lost their empire if they can't handle a little thing like this!  It may be fixed tomorrow, but . . . we'll see . . in the meantime:  je suis au cafe.  (I'll have to chat about Paris later.)

I LOVE IT HERE!  It is hot hot hot but dry and sunny.  "Our" house is stone and lovely  (link below with photos), so no chance of mold in this climate! 

http://www.vrbo.com/160460 

The kids are thrilled that they can run around on their own -- "as long as you can see the Colosseum"   -- which is across the street.  It's also free for kids so they can run IN the Colosseum -- as they wish.

They are even free to go out and buy ice cream on their own -- with their newly and temporarily extravagant allowances.   Tai didn't want his dad to know what he and Zahra were up to so he said he was going outside "to practice French,"  then came back to the house twice, yelling, "Mom!  How do you say cone?"  and "Mom,  how do you say no cup?"  

We're adapting to the Mediterranean lifestyle (it makes sense now) -- early morning out  (Ulys "It's not that big.  I know because I ran around the city twice and it only took me 45 minutes.), then lunch, then siesta (when many things are shut anyway), then out for dinner at 7:30.  Tonight we arrived early -- i.e. 7:00 pm and the waitress asked,  "Four for lunch?"

Very walkable and friendly and easy.  (Notice I did not say "cheap," or even "affordable.")

Inspired by Van Gogh, Tai has started painting!  We bought him an acrylic set and Zahra mixed colors for his still life's.

Of medical interest:  it appears that an active 8 year old boy can thrive on a diet of bread, butter, fruit and nutella crepes  -- at least temporarily.